i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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