My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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