ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize