I could make wine with my vomit
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
