We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
