you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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