I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize