Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
