You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
