They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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