bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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