his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
