Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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