"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
