Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
