It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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