Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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