Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
