Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
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After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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