I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He passed out mid-signature
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
