Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
