I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
