If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
