i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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