may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
