Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize
