Bisexual people are plain selfish.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
