I want to stick my p in your. b.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
