Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
