did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
