And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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