I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
