how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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