Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
