pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
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