if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Randomize