I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
tell me about the fingering
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