The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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