Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He passed out mid-signature
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
you never un-have a 4some
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
