I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
