It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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