I wish I could punch you in the face.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize