It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
