Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
