I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
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