Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
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