we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
