He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
