just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
