Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
sex in a hospital.. check
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
