rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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