like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
