Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
