and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
