I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
