I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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