I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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