And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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