I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
