i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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