I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
