so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.