he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
