We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Randomize
