Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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