Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
