just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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