we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
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Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
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I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize