my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
